I expect that we’ve all heard the story about the small town gay boy or lesbian who moves to the city in order to escape the constraints of small-minded bigotry. That was my life and homophobia was just a regular part of it – like eating, sleeping and walking the dog. Imagine living with a persistent fear of being discovered that lingered under the surface of every activity. No one knew my secret – except every boy in my high school who managed to sniff out my fear like hungry dogs.
In grade 10, the son of a rich business owner in my town held me in a headlock while he demanded that I tell him that I loved him. Several of his friends watched me confess my love. I’m not sure if the love was mutual. One of my friends was also there to witness the spectacle. Saying those words was humiliating because it exposed me for what I really was – a boy who loved other boys. There was also another guy in high school that called me “Klinger”; a reference to a character from the TV Show Mash who dressed in women’s clothes in order to get a psychiatric discharge. He was a friend. I’ve never told him how much that name hurt me. We’re no longer friends and I’ve never told him why.
After graduating from high school in 1985, I moved to Vancouver and never looked back. I was free to reinvent myself, but without the extravagant hand gestures and exuberant joy that made me who I was in high school. I lost a piece of myself because of homophobia.
I know that my story may seem a little dated, given that many kids are coming out in high school now. But this fear of gay and lesbian people persists in religion and within our governments and institutions. Many of our workplaces are safe, but some are not. I think there are still many people out there like my friend – the one whose nickname made me feel so unsafe and exposed. He didn’t know how to act or what to do when confronted with someone different.
We all need to make ourselves aware of what homophobia is and how it can be fought. It can be brutal and it can also be subtle… either way, it hurts.
– Rodney Hynes
Rodney Hynes is the National Equity Representative for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender People.
Homophobia comes in many forms. To find out more about the various ways it can manifest, follow this link to Fondation Émergence’s website.
Are you an Ally? The Canadian Labour Congress has a guide for allies that answers many questions about LGBT issues.